Another bride Another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin’ whoopee

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous he answers twice
It’s really killin’ that he’s so willin’
To make whoopee

Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest 
Think what a year can bring

He’s washing dishes and baby clothes
He’s so ambitious he even sews
But don’t forget folks that’s what you get folks
For makin’ whoopee

Another year or maybe less
What’s this I hear? Well can’t you guess?
She fells neglected and he’s suspected
Of makin’ whoopee

She sits alone most every night
He doesn’t phone her he doesn’t write
He says he’s busy but she say’s “is he?”
He’s makin’ whoopee

He doesn’t make much money
Only five thousand per
Some judge who thinks he’s funny
Says you’ll pay six to her

He says now judge suppose I fail
The judge says budge right into jail
You better keep her I think it’s cheaper
Then makin’ whoopee

You better keep her 
I know it’s cheaper than makin’ whoopee

-Ella Fitzgerald

song american dad ella sex cheating wedding wife husband love affair

"

1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

"
- Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)

(via jakemaccracken)

esoterria asked:

Hey so this isn't really an outlander question but I was just wondering what's up with your queue tag..."dwight queue ignorant slut" seems like a weird tag to have and the "ignorant slut" bit is sorta not-great.

SubtleSam Answer:

outlander-starz:

it’s a queue tag. it’s from the office (which is actually a line from SNL) that michael scott uses and i put ‘queue’ instead of ‘you’ in the line

it’s a queue tag